Short update from the Shortness herself

Just thought I'd write an update on how the job is going, and life in general. I love love love my job. I love the fact that it challenges me daily. I love the people I work with and for. I love getting up in the morning, getting all dressed up, and wearing heals to work every day. I love having my morning coffee in the break room. And as an added bonus, I love getting to take my lunch with my sister-in-law on the days we can. I feel so blessed to have a job where I'm this happy. Good hours, good pay, and great people. I couldn't ask for more.

My husband and I are doing good. He's still looking for a job with more hours, but thankful to have one at all. My parents left for MS yesterday because my grandfather is having open-heart surgery tomorrow. Their drive was nice....sunny and easy traffic. But of course the moment they leave my car has to act up. Apparently, the reservoir has a major leak. We were able order a new one, but we're not sure when it will get here exactly. At least we're able to drive one of my dad's cars while we wait. I also filed our taxes today. Finally. We've only had our W-2's for 3 months. I'm glad I'm done with that though. One less thing to worry about.

Other than that, our weekend has been pretty lazy. Friday night my sister-in-law and I got New Moon at the release at midnight, watched it at her house, and at our weight in cupcakes and candy. It was a wonderful night! Then the next morning I got to spend a few hours with my nephew while my brother and sis-in-law had a morning to themselves. What a neat kid, he is. We mostly watched "Scoo Doo" (Scooby Doo) and played with all his dragons and dinosaurs. Then he told me all about the other night when he had the stomach flu. He "frew up", he said. And even mimicked the sound he made, how he cried, and even yelled for his mommy. For a two and a half year old, that story was amazingly detailed. Hahaha!

Alright, time to end this I guess. Lots more laziness to be had! Until next time.

Joshua Daniel Norton 3-30-83 - 3-3-05

Today marks five years since Josh died. I know I will have to live it just like any other day, but inside I will mourn. My husband said I need to "focus on happier things, it has been five years..." That's easy for him to say. It might be easier to deal than it was five years ago, but it hurts the exact same. That hole is still there. True, it's not as raw and fresh as it once was. Other things have filled up space around it...my husband, my nephew, new friends, new memories. But that hole Josh once filled is still empty. I still have my memories of him; I can still hear his laugh, hear his voice, feel his hugs, but that emptiness almost burns. Most of the time it's in the very back corner of my mind. Always there, but not running my every action. Then something (a song or something someone says) will trigger it, and the emptiness rips through my just as violently as it did the moment I got that call. People say things heal with time. I suppose, in theory, that's true. But maybe not. The pain of losing someone, whether they've been sick and you're preparing for it or, in my case, completely unexpectedly never lessens. It's always there. Eating away at you, waiting for the moment you let it take over. But we have to learn to control it, which with time becomes easier. This week is the hardest time to control it. Rightly so, I guess. Josh deserves to be remembered, to be honored. I miss him. So much. And as the years pass I can't help but wonder how much I've changed from the Kimie he knew and loved. Am I still the girl he knew? Would he be proud of the woman I've become? Would he stand behind the choices I've made? Knowing Josh, the answers to those last two questions would be "yes." That's just who we were for each other. No matter the mistakes we made, we were always there for each other. Supportive and honest. I miss him dearly. I miss his hugs, listening to him sing me to sleep over the phone, singing with him in front of the skating rink, our deep conversations, our meaningless conversations, his laugh. In truth, I could probably write here all night about the things I miss. But I have to end this at some point.

Josh, I miss you so much. I wish we could know exactly why God called you Home so early. I wish I would have called you that night...maybe things would have been different. Or maybe not. When God says to come Home, you go. That's the only peace I have about you leaving me. I know you're in Heaven, living it up. And I know I will see you again one day, and we will fight the good fight side by side. I love you. Always.